depression comix #301

This strip is about the disparity between the internal turmoil one feels that is just not expressed on the outside. I don’t know how effective it is, in retrospect I should have drawn the water higher, but I was trying to show the character in the exact same position in the second and last panels. Maybe I’ll get it right the next time.

I don’t do much socially anymore, but when I did there would often be this point where I realize that I’m drowning in my own despair and I’m doing no good by being there, but it’s too late, I’m there. To people on the outside I’m just being quiet (I think) but in my stomach I feel like I’m holding back a wave of negativity and despair. And I wished I was somewhere else, somewhere alone where I wouldn’t have to hold back, just allow myself to crawl into a ball and try to forget I exist. Occasionally I would just leave when people’s backs were turned.

Thankfully, those days are pretty rare nowadays but I remember them quite well. They were nearly a weekly occurrence when I was in university. After that, I just stopped going out, I’d spend my weekends hiking and backpacking instead of being social.

But that’s me, and as I’ve said before, everyone’s experiences are different.

For the art, I love drawing this character. She’s one of my favorites in the series. She suffers but she still has power and articulation. As I examine my own depression, I realize how important self-empowerment and articulation is.

I had fun drawing the crowd scene at the bottom because any chance I get to draw different people I jump at it, especially non-Caucasian people.

The strip can be seen here –>

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