depression comix #292

Yeah, that voice. Although I’m sure it’s my own voice from times when I was deeper in the pit, it still calls out like a survivor in the rubble. It’s not something I can easily rid myself of, and it’s one of the examples of how when one is recovering there are still some aspects you can’t shake off. Your brain has been rewired from the experience, and that plan for ending it is still there somewhere. It’s easier to laugh it off or acknowledge it for what it is, but it isn’t gone. I wonder if it will be, or if it will be there to haunt me for the rest of my life.

This is one of the more difficult characters I’ve drawn, after years and years of drawing mainly slender people this character is a challenge. However, it’s something I need to focus on if I want to become a better artist. This character was added way back in 133 and although I originally intended her to be a regular it took another 154 strips to bring her back. And now this is her third comic, and I know we’ll see more. One of the rules I set out for myself with this character is that her story can never be about weight because that would undermine all the reasons the reason she’s in the comic.

I actually pencilled and inked this twice. The first time, an ink spill ruined it, so I had to retrace the entire thing. It was really demotivating to immediately have to redo a comic but it happens.

The link to the comic is here.

1 comment

    I agree, that voice is relentless. I hope to be able to one day say I am in recovery, but for now I am trying my best to hang on and not get worse. I want it to be quiet inside my head, but I think that will never happen for more than very short periods. I have had depression and voices for so long now that I think my brain is permanently re-wired and un-fixable. It has worked out all the details of my exit so much so that it feels inevitable. Not today, but someday. It is a terrible way to live when your worst enemy is your own mind. I like how this strip came out, both artistically and thematically. You say that this is a challenging character to draw. Based on the two recent strips with this character I think you are definitely up to the challenge. I also appreciate your decision to never make the story about her weight. Mental illness occurs in people of all sizes and shapes. While in some cases it can be a factor in one's mood, weight or body type and depression have nothing to do with one another.

    FML | 1 year ago Reply

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