This is pretty much states exactly how I feel. But I wanted to use this character as I promised to bring her back ever since #133, and I could never figure out an angle for her that made her unique and stand out from the others. “Recovering depressed person” is now her angle, and she’ll be in more strips from now on.
As soon as I posted this, I got this message on Tumblr:
“How is this supposed to be helpful. This makes you feel bad and depressed. I followed this blog because it helped people to understand what depression is but this is not okay. This is pulling down people even more. Whoever made this should feel like shit. Unfollowed.”
Can’t please everyone, I guess. It started a bout of drama between me and this former reader but I remain unapologetic. After all, depcom is primarily about what I experience, and I don’t see why I should rein it in if it is what I experience. I received a lot of support on Tumblr and I am still digging through the mail.
What I think that is particularly scary about this one is that there are people who really want to believe everything goes back to the way it was when depression goes away, like a bad cold. Illnesses, in reality, don’t work quite that way. They do damage to you in a number of different ways, and I have barely gotten started. You don’t wake up one day and feel peachy keen, everything is forgiven and everything is normal and nothing triggers those awful feelings again.
But if this sounds hopeless, well, to be honest, yes it does. But on the other hand, it makes recovery more understandable and expectations won’t be undoably high. There are some scars that don’t ever go away and it’s best to know that so you can deal with them when they appear.
Drawing this character was difficult because I’m not used to drawing her body shape but I know I have to try.