I don’t bother explaining anymore. Some people will just never get it, usually through willful ignorance. I figure if they CARE, they’ll seek out the information in order to help a person they supposedly love. If they don’t, they won’t. Guess what usually happens?! Yes, I realize I’m putting the onus of my happiness on others. #Paradox
Willful ignorance is right. Too many folks just cannot be bothered to learn anything about anyone else, or the world around them. Then when things go to hell around them, they wonder why.
My mom tended to be this way with me when I was young; acting like my depression was just a prolonged sulk, like I was moping around Just To Annoy Her. Fortunately, a bit of time and education made her understand better. But she was willing to learn, unlike the mother in the comic.
I wonder if it occurs to anyone here that Mom probably has depression too, and it comes out as snarky.
That does happen.
Course, as stubborn as she apparently is, she’s probably not interested in disturbing her self-image enough to find out.
Bet we’ve figured out why her *daughter’s* got it though. A lot of depression is situational, whether people want to admit it or not. So let’s stop acting like it’s autism, from whose activists you have stolen the word “neurotypical,” and do some actually useful things to deal with the disorder. Meds to stabilize (temporarily, please), therapist to make sense of things… and friends to help rent the U-Haul and get the hell out of there.
And come to terms with Mom not being supportive. Moms like this never care if you’re sad about their lack of support. They’ll keep on being who they are. Some moms are just bad moms, and that’s the way it is.
Both my son and I are autistic 🙁 I didn’t know the word was NG for other mental disorders to the point where words like “stolen” are freely used. I will fix this in an update.
AFAIK “neurotypical” is used to mean anyone without a mental illness or disorder. In the autistic community, the word “allistic” has become the newer term to mean people who do not have ASD but may or may not have another illness. The neurodiversity movement spans more than just autism so I think it does more harm than good to tell others not to use the term “neurotypical” when appropriate (as in this case).
What random fan said. “neurotypical” is widely used by folks in many communities, in just the way you used it, because it’s a very useful term and easily understood. It seems strange to me to try to restrict its use to exclusively refer to non-autistic people.
And your comic is spot on, and exactly like my own mom. Thank you so much!
depression comix don’t worry, you’re fine. neurotypical/neuroatypical is used by tons of people for all sorts of mental illness and disorders…this person is chewing you out for nothing.
Already ninja’d by others but yeah, I don’t see the problem with using neurotypical to refer to “normal” people.
I think the issue Dana had with it is due to the use of the term by neurodiversity advocates who allegedly believe that mental disorders don’t require treatment because they are just natural variations (like how skin colour varies). I say “allegedly” because I support the idea that some (not necessarily all) people who society deem “mentally ill” should not be seen as having problems, but instead be seen as being different. But I also believe people who are different should be able to get help if their differences makes life difficult, which isn’t contrary to the idea of neurodiversity.
Are you seriously coming on here telling people with depression to just “get over” their illness? Have you learned nothing here? Yes, it can be situational, but a lot of times it also isn’t and that’s also perfectly valid. And getting out of depression isn’t as easy as you seem to think it is. Yes, the things you suggest will probably help (although some people need medication permanently and that is not a character flaw), but the cruel irony of depression is that it makes exactly those things the most difficult things in the world. Just like autism makes certain things difficult, so does depression – it may not be an inborn disorder, but it can be debilitating nonetheless.
Your comment is exactly the type of thing that doesn’t help. It’s like telling a person with autism to “just ignore it” when they’re overwhelmed by an overstimulating environment. It doesn’t work, and only serves to make a person feel worse.
depression comix words can’t be “stolen”. This person doesn’t hold any property over words and has no right to tell others which words can they use. Your comic is perfect.
For what it’s worth I’m autistic and I’ve never heard the word “neurotypical” used outside the context of autism spectrum disorders, but it’s not offensive to me in the least and if it’s good at getting the point across to people then I say go ahead and run with it.
Anyway. All of your comics tend to blur the line between comedy and gravity and this one does it better than any other. It’s so real and relatable, yet the punchline so obvious and on the nose, that I can’t help but laugh at it even as I relate to it.
Then don’t read it. I don’t put my “constructive criticism” in your mailbox, don’t put it in mine.
The fact that you decided to say this to a depression sufferer means you don’t understand the illness at all. For the love of God, keep your criticism to yourself before you kill someone with it.
You have two containers – one is a 4 litre bucket and the other is a 4000 litre tank.
The bucket is your momentary happiness/contentment, the tank is your long term happiness/contentment.
Since the absolute and total light of my life, my wife, died… my tank has a huge gaping chasm of a hole in it.
My bucket can fill with small things – listening to my cats purr, a funny TV program, sitting in the sun with a beer and a book… but no matter how much the bucket has, the tank never fills up, anything put into it just floods away into oblivion.
No matter how much you are able to have momentary pleasures in your life, your “tank of happiness” will never fill. People see you smile on those odd rare times but they don’t understand that you will never have that tank full again… not now…
I am sorry for your loss. I don’t know you nor your life, so I won’t assume anything. But from my point of view, she seemed like a nice person, and she loved you (and probably still does, for those who believe in after life). So you are probably great too. I know it is not the point here, but… things take time, just please allow yourself some times… gosh I just hope I do at least no harms, but… I know it can be hard to allow ourself to be happy again after something like that, but I believe in you and in the man that lovely women loved, even if it takes time. I may be too positive, but I guess hoping won’t hurt, and I want people to be happy
really? THAT IS ALL what you noticed?! …… you better be glad she had the energy TO LIFT UP THE PEN to draw this! sheesh!
I don’t care who it was, if someone said that to me I’d punch them
A mother definitely not worthy of her own holiday this weekend.
I don’t bother explaining anymore. Some people will just never get it, usually through willful ignorance. I figure if they CARE, they’ll seek out the information in order to help a person they supposedly love. If they don’t, they won’t. Guess what usually happens?! Yes, I realize I’m putting the onus of my happiness on others. #Paradox
Willful ignorance is right. Too many folks just cannot be bothered to learn anything about anyone else, or the world around them. Then when things go to hell around them, they wonder why.
My mom tended to be this way with me when I was young; acting like my depression was just a prolonged sulk, like I was moping around Just To Annoy Her. Fortunately, a bit of time and education made her understand better. But she was willing to learn, unlike the mother in the comic.
…and that’s why I adore her. ?
No mother’s day for her.
I wonder if it occurs to anyone here that Mom probably has depression too, and it comes out as snarky.
That does happen.
Course, as stubborn as she apparently is, she’s probably not interested in disturbing her self-image enough to find out.
Bet we’ve figured out why her *daughter’s* got it though. A lot of depression is situational, whether people want to admit it or not. So let’s stop acting like it’s autism, from whose activists you have stolen the word “neurotypical,” and do some actually useful things to deal with the disorder. Meds to stabilize (temporarily, please), therapist to make sense of things… and friends to help rent the U-Haul and get the hell out of there.
And come to terms with Mom not being supportive. Moms like this never care if you’re sad about their lack of support. They’ll keep on being who they are. Some moms are just bad moms, and that’s the way it is.
Both my son and I are autistic 🙁 I didn’t know the word was NG for other mental disorders to the point where words like “stolen” are freely used. I will fix this in an update.
AFAIK “neurotypical” is used to mean anyone without a mental illness or disorder. In the autistic community, the word “allistic” has become the newer term to mean people who do not have ASD but may or may not have another illness. The neurodiversity movement spans more than just autism so I think it does more harm than good to tell others not to use the term “neurotypical” when appropriate (as in this case).
What random fan said. “neurotypical” is widely used by folks in many communities, in just the way you used it, because it’s a very useful term and easily understood. It seems strange to me to try to restrict its use to exclusively refer to non-autistic people.
And your comic is spot on, and exactly like my own mom. Thank you so much!
Friends! Hah! You’re funny.
depression comix don’t worry, you’re fine. neurotypical/neuroatypical is used by tons of people for all sorts of mental illness and disorders…this person is chewing you out for nothing.
Already ninja’d by others but yeah, I don’t see the problem with using neurotypical to refer to “normal” people.
I think the issue Dana had with it is due to the use of the term by neurodiversity advocates who allegedly believe that mental disorders don’t require treatment because they are just natural variations (like how skin colour varies). I say “allegedly” because I support the idea that some (not necessarily all) people who society deem “mentally ill” should not be seen as having problems, but instead be seen as being different. But I also believe people who are different should be able to get help if their differences makes life difficult, which isn’t contrary to the idea of neurodiversity.
Are you seriously coming on here telling people with depression to just “get over” their illness? Have you learned nothing here? Yes, it can be situational, but a lot of times it also isn’t and that’s also perfectly valid. And getting out of depression isn’t as easy as you seem to think it is. Yes, the things you suggest will probably help (although some people need medication permanently and that is not a character flaw), but the cruel irony of depression is that it makes exactly those things the most difficult things in the world. Just like autism makes certain things difficult, so does depression – it may not be an inborn disorder, but it can be debilitating nonetheless.
Your comment is exactly the type of thing that doesn’t help. It’s like telling a person with autism to “just ignore it” when they’re overwhelmed by an overstimulating environment. It doesn’t work, and only serves to make a person feel worse.
depression comix words can’t be “stolen”. This person doesn’t hold any property over words and has no right to tell others which words can they use. Your comic is perfect.
Gourd forbid you try to explain bipolar…
this one is just spot on.
For what it’s worth I’m autistic and I’ve never heard the word “neurotypical” used outside the context of autism spectrum disorders, but it’s not offensive to me in the least and if it’s good at getting the point across to people then I say go ahead and run with it.
Anyway. All of your comics tend to blur the line between comedy and gravity and this one does it better than any other. It’s so real and relatable, yet the punchline so obvious and on the nose, that I can’t help but laugh at it even as I relate to it.
Still the use of symbolism still illustrates other’s confusion about their condition. Im just glad i willed myself into counseling.
Then don’t read it. I don’t put my “constructive criticism” in your mailbox, don’t put it in mine.
The fact that you decided to say this to a depression sufferer means you don’t understand the illness at all. For the love of God, keep your criticism to yourself before you kill someone with it.
I have a different take on depression:
You have two containers – one is a 4 litre bucket and the other is a 4000 litre tank.
The bucket is your momentary happiness/contentment, the tank is your long term happiness/contentment.
Since the absolute and total light of my life, my wife, died… my tank has a huge gaping chasm of a hole in it.
My bucket can fill with small things – listening to my cats purr, a funny TV program, sitting in the sun with a beer and a book… but no matter how much the bucket has, the tank never fills up, anything put into it just floods away into oblivion.
No matter how much you are able to have momentary pleasures in your life, your “tank of happiness” will never fill.
People see you smile on those odd rare times but they don’t understand that you will never have that tank full again… not now…
And the bucket just isn’t enough to live on.
I am sorry for your loss. I don’t know you nor your life, so I won’t assume anything. But from my point of view, she seemed like a nice person, and she loved you (and probably still does, for those who believe in after life). So you are probably great too. I know it is not the point here, but… things take time, just please allow yourself some times… gosh I just hope I do at least no harms, but…
I know it can be hard to allow ourself to be happy again after something like that, but I believe in you and in the man that lovely women loved, even if it takes time.
I may be too positive, but I guess hoping won’t hurt, and I want people to be happy
ah, mother dearest.