I hit the 10 year mark at my current employer recently. To celebrate there was a meeting with a lot of the people I have worked with and my current and a few previous managers. As the managers took there turns telling praising me in front of the group the only thought I had was, “they can’t really be talking about me.” Depression makes even good things suck.
Learning to lie is almost as vital as knowing when and why to lie.
And… you ever wonder if maybe we’re just… not good at believing our own lies? I mean, cults are a great example of how con men con themselves into… well, becoming batshit crazy. Do we have different resistance?
My annual staff apprasial in my job asks me to list my strengths and weaknesses. (self apprasial then boss apprasial :/ ) I have no idea what my strengths are and I’ve a long list of weaknesses… Of course I know I can’t be honest on my apprasial too…
seeing this, I KNOW how that feels. I would like to think that, in dealing with depression i can try and see these parts of it and hope sharing helps others realize this. So far my greatest strengths are that i am persevering, i can take each day as it comes and even if i fall I make the effort to keep going even when I really don’t want to. I have courage to try and learn things – in which i don’t tell the person interviewing me that i had the courage to come here and talk to them cause that is terrifying sometimes – i have skills in every day things that some people cannot claim and that is ok. i have teachable skills i would like to pass on. little things that we think don’t matter do. its trying to see how they can be applied to the job.
My best job-related qualities are that I have a very good memory, enjoy solving problems, reason logically, and can concentrate on a task for a long time.
When I was depressed I had none of those. It impaired my ability to learn, robbed me of all sense of accomplishment, flooded my mind with irrational thoughts, and destroyed my concentration. So I worked at dead-end manual labour jobs.
This is so very important and I understand it so well. You don’t have your normal mental capabilities when you’re going through a period of depression. Personal rant ahead: When I was in junior high, I had really high grades, usually top of the class. I could do homework until 4am and then go to class the next day with little to no problem, I devoured the textbooks hungrily, reading way more than what we were asked to, I enjoyed tutoring my classmates on physics and always got straight As on bio until I graduated high school. Everyone told me I was really smart and had a great future ahead, but I fell into a hole during university and suddenly I was not good at any of the things I used to be good at and enjoyed before. I lost my ability to concentrate, memory, problem solving skills, study habits, and any pleasure or motivation for learning. Suddenly I was failing all my courses really badly, including physics and bio, and I just felt like an essential part of me, of who I was, had been stolen. I felt so, so dumb, and really guilty because I knew I could do it. I had done it before, so if I didn’t do it then, it must be because I didn’t want to. I was just too lazy, right? What depression does to your brain and how it impairs you is no joke.
So true
I can tell you my most minor weakness, would that count?
I’m having that problem trying to get a new job..
All the best
I hit the 10 year mark at my current employer recently. To celebrate there was a meeting with a lot of the people I have worked with and my current and a few previous managers. As the managers took there turns telling praising me in front of the group the only thought I had was, “they can’t really be talking about me.” Depression makes even good things suck.
This is why learning to lie is important.
At least one needs to learn to convey a enhanced truth…
Learning to lie is almost as vital as knowing when and why to lie.
And… you ever wonder if maybe we’re just… not good at believing our own lies? I mean, cults are a great example of how con men con themselves into… well, becoming batshit crazy. Do we have different resistance?
My annual staff apprasial in my job asks me to list my strengths and weaknesses. (self apprasial then boss apprasial :/ ) I have no idea what my strengths are and I’ve a long list of weaknesses… Of course I know I can’t be honest on my apprasial too…
Ouch, this hits home. Even if I present a strength actually possess, I feel that I’m lying about it.
The trick is to combine sarcasm with indifference to make the truth sound like a lie.
“What is your greatest strength?”
“Somehow I never give up, even when I feel like I really should. I just keep going, day after day.”
“What do you bring to the company?”
“Respect for the superiority of others and the value of self-sacrifice.”
“What are your plans for the future?”
“…”
“Sir?”
“This seems like the kind of place I could work at until I die.”
“Great! Welcome aboard.”
seeing this, I KNOW how that feels. I would like to think that, in dealing with depression i can try and see these parts of it and hope sharing helps others realize this.
So far my greatest strengths are that i am persevering, i can take each day as it comes and even if i fall I make the effort to keep going even when I really don’t want to.
I have courage to try and learn things – in which i don’t tell the person interviewing me that i had the courage to come here and talk to them cause that is terrifying sometimes – i have skills in every day things that some people cannot claim and that is ok. i have teachable skills i would like to pass on.
little things that we think don’t matter do. its trying to see how they can be applied to the job.
My best job-related qualities are that I have a very good memory, enjoy solving problems, reason logically, and can concentrate on a task for a long time.
When I was depressed I had none of those. It impaired my ability to learn, robbed me of all sense of accomplishment, flooded my mind with irrational thoughts, and destroyed my concentration. So I worked at dead-end manual labour jobs.
This is so very important and I understand it so well. You don’t have your normal mental capabilities when you’re going through a period of depression.
Personal rant ahead: When I was in junior high, I had really high grades, usually top of the class. I could do homework until 4am and then go to class the next day with little to no problem, I devoured the textbooks hungrily, reading way more than what we were asked to, I enjoyed tutoring my classmates on physics and always got straight As on bio until I graduated high school. Everyone told me I was really smart and had a great future ahead, but I fell into a hole during university and suddenly I was not good at any of the things I used to be good at and enjoyed before. I lost my ability to concentrate, memory, problem solving skills, study habits, and any pleasure or motivation for learning. Suddenly I was failing all my courses really badly, including physics and bio, and I just felt like an essential part of me, of who I was, had been stolen.
I felt so, so dumb, and really guilty because I knew I could do it. I had done it before, so if I didn’t do it then, it must be because I didn’t want to. I was just too lazy, right?
What depression does to your brain and how it impairs you is no joke.