In fairness, I rewrote this several times before lettering it. If this were said spontaneously in a real bar after some drinks it would be far less eloquent.
Gods. Last serious relationship I was in… we were both… uh… not good. It did help me, and I’d like to think her, for a time. But it wasn’t enough for her, and I just… if together, we’re both going down the tubes… I’m not helping anybody by staying. So I left, to save at least me.
Since then, well, over current politics, where I’ve nothing nice to say about the people who actively want to cut my life support, I lost friends. Because they’re related to terrible people and being around me is making it hard to pretend they’re not. Bit more to it, of course. But they cut ties with me when I resisted a bit of gaslighting. They said I was “too negative” and since a lot of our contact was text… I figured they could point to an example. They couldn’t, wouldn’t, and insisted they were right anyway. That was in January, and it still kinda sucks.
Romance, for me, at this point? Still up for it. With the right person. But it’s unlikely. Too many folks in that ableist trap of “If you’d just TRY, you could beat this!” No. No. I have a therapist and medication. This *IS* me beating it. I’m alive, and I’m more functional than not. Not happy, but able to live. And I can say No. I’m learning to disengage from things that are not good for me. And that means I could survive trying. You don’t want to jump in a hole you can’t climb out of, even if there’s candy down there.
I’ve joked with my trauma therapist that I’d like to get married one day, and that the best match would either be a psych student or someone who’s mentally ill like I am. It was funny, but that would head off things like in the last panel. Nobody who understands would ever say that.
The sad thing about realtionships is that you will meet people who love the person you pretent to be, when you need someone to love the person you are.
Wow… this feels ridiculously accurate. I’m so terrified of relationships because of the fact that a. I constantly feel like I’d hurt whoever I’m with… b. Emotions would overwhelm me when it ended (because… I figure it would). Depression makes everything hard…
It amazes me how much you say it right.
In fairness, I rewrote this several times before lettering it. If this were said spontaneously in a real bar after some drinks it would be far less eloquent.
This one moved me.
That one? I would probably relate to.
Both work.
Thats a sad realization, your art and detailing to the background is getting much much better.
Thank you. I’m really trying to become a better artist though this.
Your observations are as sharp as ever. Even the more nuanced ones as shown with the NOPE door.
It’s hard when your partners don’t understand depression.
It isn’t satellite character number 2 but satelite character number 1
A lingering fear in my current relationship. So much so, I’ve develop an emotional “callus” if/when a break up occurs.
i relate, besides the romance aspect
Gods. Last serious relationship I was in… we were both… uh… not good. It did help me, and I’d like to think her, for a time. But it wasn’t enough for her, and I just… if together, we’re both going down the tubes… I’m not helping anybody by staying. So I left, to save at least me.
Since then, well, over current politics, where I’ve nothing nice to say about the people who actively want to cut my life support, I lost friends. Because they’re related to terrible people and being around me is making it hard to pretend they’re not. Bit more to it, of course. But they cut ties with me when I resisted a bit of gaslighting. They said I was “too negative” and since a lot of our contact was text… I figured they could point to an example. They couldn’t, wouldn’t, and insisted they were right anyway. That was in January, and it still kinda sucks.
Romance, for me, at this point? Still up for it. With the right person. But it’s unlikely. Too many folks in that ableist trap of “If you’d just TRY, you could beat this!” No. No. I have a therapist and medication. This *IS* me beating it. I’m alive, and I’m more functional than not. Not happy, but able to live. And I can say No. I’m learning to disengage from things that are not good for me. And that means I could survive trying. You don’t want to jump in a hole you can’t climb out of, even if there’s candy down there.
I’ve joked with my trauma therapist that I’d like to get married one day, and that the best match would either be a psych student or someone who’s mentally ill like I am. It was funny, but that would head off things like in the last panel. Nobody who understands would ever say that.
The sad thing about realtionships is that you will meet people who love the person you pretent to be, when you need someone to love the person you are.
“Well if you know what the problem is, you can fix it, right?”
“It’s not considered polite to tell the guy on the ledge to jump like that.”
Wow… this feels ridiculously accurate. I’m so terrified of relationships because of the fact that a. I constantly feel like I’d hurt whoever I’m with… b. Emotions would overwhelm me when it ended (because… I figure it would).
Depression makes everything hard…