I love the freckled woman. She’s been so awesome and loving to her depressed partner as you craft their story, Clay. It’s great that you show her struggles too, and it’s absolutely completely right.
I’ve been on both sides of this equation. As a support person I know how much you want something back from the depressed one, and as the depressed person I know that so often there just isn’t anything you’ve got to give.
I don’t have any easy solutions, but I’m grateful that you articulate these things, Clay. It’s helpful in and of itself. I’m hard pressed to think of anyone who does it in this way as well as you do. It’s an incredible gift to many of us. Thank you.
What I regret not showing in this strip is that every relationship holds struggles, not just ones in which a partner also provides support. There are very few (if at all) perfect relationships and every one has its challenges. Understanding helps overcome some of these challenges, I think.
I am fortunately well enough that my partners can ask me to muscle through a specific thing, an event or their cold or whatever, and I can find a secret reserve that only exists when asked for by them. Though it can’t last long, and it hurts like hell and tears me up. It’s good to have the option, and it’s good not to overuse it.
Everyone’s suffering is different. I feel for my neurodivergent siblings. I wish you all well.
My SO of almost 9 years has bipolar II, so we’re both struggling and supporting each other. Some days are bad, like when we’re both in depressive states. Sometimes I envy his hypomania because it enables him to pour all his energy into creative projects. Sometimes he doesn’t understand that I don’t really get breaks in my depression (I have dysthymia). But it’s amazing to have someone that GETS IT.
Someone told me once to keep calling her and leaving messages but she said she would NEVER call me back. As someone with depression myself i found that a hard pill to swallow.
I have very severe panic attacks with agoraphobia plus my depression but I have noticed that it helps if someone that understands escorts me to events and if my limits are respected and it’s accepted that I already made a huge effort to be there and maybe can’t be for too long, that people won’t be sad because I left early, but happy that I successfully appeared.
On this scenario if it was my partner and a friend could escort me so my partner wasn’t burdened with having to give my anxieties attention (the night SHOULD be all about her! It’s her show!) I would totally give it a go. Because of course it’s important to her even if it freaks me out badly.
This is in no way passing judgment of the depressed character. I’m only sharing what happens to me in hope it may be useful to someone. YMMV and all that.
Cerri Dwenn says
Yes.
Luca Bergamasco says
Yup… Sometimes the support, sometimes the supported.
Peter Watson says
I love the freckled woman. She’s been so awesome and loving to her depressed partner as you craft their story, Clay. It’s great that you show her struggles too, and it’s absolutely completely right.
I’ve been on both sides of this equation. As a support person I know how much you want something back from the depressed one, and as the depressed person I know that so often there just isn’t anything you’ve got to give.
I don’t have any easy solutions, but I’m grateful that you articulate these things, Clay. It’s helpful in and of itself. I’m hard pressed to think of anyone who does it in this way as well as you do. It’s an incredible gift to many of us. Thank you.
clay says
What I regret not showing in this strip is that every relationship holds struggles, not just ones in which a partner also provides support. There are very few (if at all) perfect relationships and every one has its challenges. Understanding helps overcome some of these challenges, I think.
Esmerelda Bohème says
Been there.
Reine Eidee says
I am fortunately well enough that my partners can ask me to muscle through a specific thing, an event or their cold or whatever, and I can find a secret reserve that only exists when asked for by them. Though it can’t last long, and it hurts like hell and tears me up. It’s good to have the option, and it’s good not to overuse it.
Everyone’s suffering is different. I feel for my neurodivergent siblings. I wish you all well.
Jingles says
My SO of almost 9 years has bipolar II, so we’re both struggling and supporting each other. Some days are bad, like when we’re both in depressive states. Sometimes I envy his hypomania because it enables him to pour all his energy into creative projects. Sometimes he doesn’t understand that I don’t really get breaks in my depression (I have dysthymia). But it’s amazing to have someone that GETS IT.
Virginia says
Someone told me once to keep calling her and leaving messages but she said she would NEVER call me back. As someone with depression myself i found that a hard pill to swallow.
Lanika (@lanika) says
I have very severe panic attacks with agoraphobia plus my depression but I have noticed that it helps if someone that understands escorts me to events and if my limits are respected and it’s accepted that I already made a huge effort to be there and maybe can’t be for too long, that people won’t be sad because I left early, but happy that I successfully appeared.
On this scenario if it was my partner and a friend could escort me so my partner wasn’t burdened with having to give my anxieties attention (the night SHOULD be all about her! It’s her show!) I would totally give it a go. Because of course it’s important to her even if it freaks me out badly.
This is in no way passing judgment of the depressed character. I’m only sharing what happens to me in hope it may be useful to someone. YMMV and all that.