Then when I took to standing at the edge of the cliff below the house, trying to find a spot that would be guaranteed to kill me if I jumped (because surviving and being incapacitated around those people would have been even worse), they called it sulking.
My mother is not guilty of my problems. And she doesn’t think she is, but she needs to think that there is one very concrete reason for it, something that one day will disapear; so she forces reasons. She sees me “upset” and the she asks and answers alone, “Yeah, that job… I wish you could get a better job”, she says. She doesn’t want to listen and I don’t fight to explain myself. She loves me and I understand. And after all, we want the same thing: stop suffering.
She thinks that her daughter can’t be depressed because that would reflect badly on her own parenting skills?
Are there really people who think this way? I figured out that some of my thoughts were irrational when I was depressed, but I assumed that it was just part of the illness. I didn’t realize that some people were so illogical (and shallow) normally.
Yes, people – especially parents – think that way. Like for years, they’re doing their best to raise their child as good as they possibly can, and then seeing their child being not the happy human they thought they raised makes them think they failed somehow, makes them think they missed something they could or should have done. As a result, some parents actually ask their children stuff like “What did I do to make you so {something undesirable}” which isn’t exactly helping either. And other parents resolve to seeing no issues at all with their child, and try to make their child pretend the same way, like depicted above …
I finally, in a moment of anger, shouted that I’d rather kill myself than be around him. He threatened me with having to go get professional psychiatric help, thinking the thought of a therapist would scare me off. I felt a little relieved, because now I wouldn’t have to ask for help, it would be forced on me! ………. Once he saw it wasn’t scaring me into silence, he rescinded his offer Things got worse Mom decides I do need help. I finally get the help I need!……….? A Christian psychologist, told me that I needed more Jesus to be happy, poked fun at my issues on the very first session, openly admitted that he felt he already knew everything about me.
Tomasz Gwóźdź says
I remember my parent saying one time “Depressed??? You are lazy, not depressed”
Jenny Islander says
Every damn day for years.
Then when I took to standing at the edge of the cliff below the house, trying to find a spot that would be guaranteed to kill me if I jumped (because surviving and being incapacitated around those people would have been even worse), they called it sulking.
Jingles says
Ow.
Keith Gottschalk says
Sub my father for the female character and you’d have my situation. Except he was not so nice about it.
L. says
My mother is not guilty of my problems. And she doesn’t think she is, but she needs to think that there is one very concrete reason for it, something that one day will disapear; so she forces reasons. She sees me “upset” and the she asks and answers alone, “Yeah, that job… I wish you could get a better job”, she says. She doesn’t want to listen and I don’t fight to explain myself. She loves me and I understand. And after all, we want the same thing: stop suffering.
Esmerelda Bohème says
Arg. I would totally smack that smile card away and start yelling… or crying.
Tiamat Noricum says
… *sighs*
Jsoe Eblol says
Daughter has depression, mom had anxiety
Koz says
Yes exactly this. Except my mother punched that card into my mouth until the bruises held it in place.
Agarax says
She thinks that her daughter can’t be depressed because that would reflect badly on her own parenting skills?
Are there really people who think this way? I figured out that some of my thoughts were irrational when I was depressed, but I assumed that it was just part of the illness. I didn’t realize that some people were so illogical (and shallow) normally.
Madeleine says
Yes, people – especially parents – think that way. Like for years, they’re doing their best to raise their child as good as they possibly can, and then seeing their child being not the happy human they thought they raised makes them think they failed somehow, makes them think they missed something they could or should have done. As a result, some parents actually ask their children stuff like “What did I do to make you so {something undesirable}” which isn’t exactly helping either. And other parents resolve to seeing no issues at all with their child, and try to make their child pretend the same way, like depicted above …
Lia R. says
Oh god…. This is everyone around me. I- Thank you. Thank you so damn much for putting this into words and thoughts. Thank you.
___ says
I finally, in a moment of anger, shouted that I’d rather kill myself than be around him. He threatened me with having to go get professional psychiatric help, thinking the thought of a therapist would scare me off. I felt a little relieved, because now I wouldn’t have to ask for help, it would be forced on me!
……….
Once he saw it wasn’t scaring me into silence, he rescinded his offer
Things got worse
Mom decides I do need help.
I finally get the help I need!……….?
A Christian psychologist, told me that I needed more Jesus to be happy, poked fun at my issues on the very first session, openly admitted that he felt he already knew everything about me.
Never lucky rubber ducky, eh?
Stress Management Techniques says
who else gets this
k marshall says
this must be what my daddy thinks when I say I’m fine
Sydney says
It’s the opposite for my mother. She is depressed herself, and I have to actively convince her that my depression is not her fault.