Commentary from Published March 16, 2016
A lot of this is personal experience. And a lot of this has nothing to do with depression … just how crushing university/college can be in itself. Add depression to the mix and it’s easy to come crashing down. I remember in my third year I had to go with a lightened workload just so I could manage it. I know more people who couldn’t manage it and dropped out. It really can be a challenge, and not for the right reasons.
I remember well the constant feeling of pressure and panic. It followed me every term as I struggled to fulfill all my expectations in an incredibly competitive atmosphere. Tension followed me home and caused friction with my parents; they responded by kicking me out of the house several times, leaving me to not only deal with my workload but scramble to find a place to live and a means to pay for it. I came out of it pretty damaged. Even twenty years later, I am still haunted by frequent nightmares of being back in university and having tests I’m not prepared for and assignments I haven’t done. The feeling of intense panic ran that deep that it still affects my subconscious. I wake up and have to remind myself that I’m not in university and I’m okay.
Artistically, I spent a lot of time on that dump truck in the last panel. I ended up getting a 3D model and using that as reference because I couldn’t find a decent picture of the back end of a dump truck on the internet.
I remember well the constant feeling of pressure and panic. It followed me every term as I struggled to fulfill all my expectations in an incredibly competitive atmosphere. Tension followed me home and caused friction with my parents; they responded by kicking me out of the house several times, leaving me to not only deal with my workload but scramble to find a place to live and a means to pay for it. I came out of it pretty damaged. Even twenty years later, I am still haunted by frequent nightmares of being back in university and having tests I’m not prepared for and assignments I haven’t done. The feeling of intense panic ran that deep that it still affects my subconscious. I wake up and have to remind myself that I’m not in university and I’m okay.
Artistically, I spent a lot of time on that dump truck in the last panel. I ended up getting a 3D model and using that as reference because I couldn’t find a decent picture of the back end of a dump truck on the internet.
« Previous: depression comix #279
Next Post: depression comix #281 »
Oh man, too true. We take our shit with us wherever we go. College is a tough time. Junior High is worse! Thanks for another good one, Clay.
This brings back memories. I dropped out of college 3 times due to my illness before I gave up on it. Another dream that turned to shit thanks to depression.
Thank you, Clay
At least you survived it, as I did. A friend of mine did not.
Important take-away lesson: You are not your grades. Don’t let other people decide who you are or who you should be. No one can ever measure up to everyone else’s expectations.
Paula fuck
Way too real there
This is perfect.
All too true. Of course there should also be a stack of boxes for the stuff we take with us to college (and everywhere else). Bad relationships, the ghosts of bad relationships, insecurities, and so on.
I survived my last year in college by telling my teachers flat out that I was gong to have a nervous breakdown and it was 50-50 I’d graduate first, ten years later I’m maybe half recovered from the experience.
Owwwwwwwww.
Or, four panels that explain why I ended up with a couple of associate’s degrees at the community college instead.
I can agree, I am from the UK and when the work comes the struggle becomes a lifestyle
I have aspergers, so depression comes natural to me
I cried so much before my first day in college.