I love this. I have done this for some of my depressed friends, except I read web comics like that guy read the Sunday funnies on the radio back in the early part of the 20th…
I’ve been very careful to never mention their sexuality in the comic because I wanted to make it seem like their relationship is the most natural and logical thing for them.
A romantic relationship can be about love, compassion, understanding, belonging, affection, and intimacy without any need or desire for sex. Some cultures have considered such a relationship to be a noble ideal.
This is true, and some of my favorite relationships in stories have been close, intimate, would-die-for-each-other Platonic ideals. But it seems like our culture has pushed the boundaries of sex so strongly that it’s nigh impossible to see relationships without a sexual dynamic no matter what sort of pairing you’ve got going.
There exist, in literature and also IRL, intimate relationships where you feel free to show your true self to the other person without fear of ridicule or backstabbing, where you enjoy each other’s company and care deeply enough about them that you’d cut out of work to go help them or maybe even drop a job or a girlfriend on their behalf, or go into debt because helping them was more important than your long-term security. Those relationships are rare and special and I love seeing them explored. I wish more people were inspired to be that good to other people, so that more intimate relationships would happen naturally.
But nowadays it’s like, the more intimate the relationship, the more “obviously sexual” it has to be, and signs of intimacy are basically allowed only among siblings (and it’s not like being siblings mean no one assumes you’re in a sexual relationship). And this reads back across time, across every relationship throughout history and literature, as though sex was always a key factor to achieve intimate connection.
I doubt this would be a pet peeve of mine if it weren’t abundantly clear that any intimate Platonic relationship I write is going to be analyzed as sexual whether I ignore it (“look at the subtext!”) or address it (“the author protests too much!”) or even give the characters other romantic pairs (“beards!” or whatever). Because we’re a culture of “denial means it’s true!” And the only option open for portraying a Platonic relationship is to strictly reduce the apparent intimacy, which also reduces my enjoyment of the pairing. Ugh.
Also, y’think depression and isolation would be less widespread, less severe, if our culture wasn’t telling us that caring deeply for other people goes hand in hand with wanting to have sex with them? That’s a strong factor on the male side (“Dude, you’re crying over his injuries? You are so —“) but it also affects male-female pairings (“Look, spending this much time with him just makes it seem like you want to date him”) and surely even female-female pairings (“You dropped out of college just to help her start up a business? Is there something you’re not telling me?”).
I know that the United States culture does have a lot of caring — a lot of charity work, a lot of people trying to ensure that the less fortunate get support systems and have someone to turn to, even a lot of movements to brighten up the days of strangers just a little bit — but sometimes it’s hard to remember that when it seems like we treat Emotion as the unwanted kid at the table, immature and mixed up with a lot of negative stereotypes.
I usually instigate these telephone calls, I phone and don’t really speak I am looking for someone else to fill in the silence with any thing so I don’t feel so alone. It helps me to take my focus away from me.
Sometimes, silence shouts louder… than words which struggle to grasp an ever-flowing sense of meaning. When you’re respecting, loving, or enjoying the presence (or “absence: longing for them, planning possibilities”) for someone, the meaning of your actions is self-evident in your mind but not clearly translatable, especially in cultures bent on conflict as a priority over construction, creativity, and the dances of living. So, sometimes words are not loud enough, Silence is louder. Like an olive vine, 100 years in growth, silently, before it shouts its fruit into the world. Silently.
I wish someone would do this with me, just talk and talk and help me not feel so lonely. But I’ve been alone for so long, and don’t know anyone that would help me.
When I was dating my ex, we would skype in the evenings. When she was having a bad night I would talk to her or sing her to sleep. It’s nice to know I wasn’t alone.
My friend does that for me too. She’s so caring and perfect.
I’m driven to feel like shit that I’m taking all this time and energy out of her, and for what? But she made me promise that I would not turn her kindness into these kinds of things and I try to keep it. Trying to forbid my thoughts from going there for too long and think of something else instead.
That’s a good friend.
Awwwwww, talk about all forms of love
I love this. I have done this for some of my depressed friends, except I read web comics like that guy read the Sunday funnies on the radio back in the early part of the 20th…
I need a friend like that on bad days, and I can be a friend like that on my good ones.
Huh, never thought of this before, but I could use it from time to time: http://t.co/1WSeUgTejh just someone’s voice would be nice.
Sometimes, it doesn’t matter what you say.
Em Agh
<3
<3
<3
These are like the story of my life
Jay <3.
te quiero.
-¡jay estuvo aquí!
Y yo a ti, mi amigo.
Actually, the characters are in a romantic relationship according to past strips. But all forms of love are important in moments like that.
I’ve been very careful to never mention their sexuality in the comic because I wanted to make it seem like their relationship is the most natural and logical thing for them.
Most comics that feature a female couple in romantic relationship use the L word to exploit the characters, which is something I don’t want to do.
I can delete the comment if needed. I apologize.
Oh no, just commenting on it myself, no worries
A romantic relationship can be about love, compassion, understanding, belonging, affection, and intimacy without any need or desire for sex. Some cultures have considered such a relationship to be a noble ideal.
This is true, and some of my favorite relationships in stories have been close, intimate, would-die-for-each-other Platonic ideals. But it seems like our culture has pushed the boundaries of sex so strongly that it’s nigh impossible to see relationships without a sexual dynamic no matter what sort of pairing you’ve got going.
There exist, in literature and also IRL, intimate relationships where you feel free to show your true self to the other person without fear of ridicule or backstabbing, where you enjoy each other’s company and care deeply enough about them that you’d cut out of work to go help them or maybe even drop a job or a girlfriend on their behalf, or go into debt because helping them was more important than your long-term security. Those relationships are rare and special and I love seeing them explored. I wish more people were inspired to be that good to other people, so that more intimate relationships would happen naturally.
But nowadays it’s like, the more intimate the relationship, the more “obviously sexual” it has to be, and signs of intimacy are basically allowed only among siblings (and it’s not like being siblings mean no one assumes you’re in a sexual relationship). And this reads back across time, across every relationship throughout history and literature, as though sex was always a key factor to achieve intimate connection.
I doubt this would be a pet peeve of mine if it weren’t abundantly clear that any intimate Platonic relationship I write is going to be analyzed as sexual whether I ignore it (“look at the subtext!”) or address it (“the author protests too much!”) or even give the characters other romantic pairs (“beards!” or whatever). Because we’re a culture of “denial means it’s true!” And the only option open for portraying a Platonic relationship is to strictly reduce the apparent intimacy, which also reduces my enjoyment of the pairing. Ugh.
Also, y’think depression and isolation would be less widespread, less severe, if our culture wasn’t telling us that caring deeply for other people goes hand in hand with wanting to have sex with them? That’s a strong factor on the male side (“Dude, you’re crying over his injuries? You are so —“) but it also affects male-female pairings (“Look, spending this much time with him just makes it seem like you want to date him”) and surely even female-female pairings (“You dropped out of college just to help her start up a business? Is there something you’re not telling me?”).
I know that the United States culture does have a lot of caring — a lot of charity work, a lot of people trying to ensure that the less fortunate get support systems and have someone to turn to, even a lot of movements to brighten up the days of strangers just a little bit — but sometimes it’s hard to remember that when it seems like we treat Emotion as the unwanted kid at the table, immature and mixed up with a lot of negative stereotypes.
247 http://t.co/glzsbH2i5c via @depressioncomix
“Sorry, I’m… just not in a talking mood… Sorry.”
via http://t.co/hRvknetHUq http://t.co/9Vq2BPGBTC
I usually instigate these telephone calls, I phone and don’t really speak I am looking for someone else to fill in the silence with any thing so I don’t feel so alone. It helps me to take my focus away from me.
Sometimes, silence shouts louder…
than words which struggle to grasp an ever-flowing sense of meaning.
When you’re respecting, loving, or enjoying the presence (or “absence: longing for them, planning possibilities”) for someone, the meaning of your actions is self-evident in your mind but not clearly translatable, especially in cultures bent on conflict as a priority over construction, creativity, and the dances of living.
So, sometimes words are not loud enough,
Silence is louder.
Like an olive vine, 100 years in growth, silently, before it shouts its fruit into the world. Silently.
I wish someone would do this with me, just talk and talk and help me not feel so lonely. But I’ve been alone for so long, and don’t know anyone that would help me.
Same here. 🙂
Kind of cool 247 http://t.co/WVORFpBECy via @depressioncomix
This is true love ♡
This is wonderfully heartwarming. We all should find a relative or friend that will do this for us.
So sweet… <3 http://t.co/fvw7y3trpp via @depressioncomix
<3 http://t.co/GmXosHXgHA
<3 http://t.co/zjDFB3uZPi via @depressioncomix
When I was dating my ex, we would skype in the evenings. When she was having a bad night I would talk to her or sing her to sleep. It’s nice to know I wasn’t alone.
Sometimes it can mean everything just to have someone on the other end <3
This is lovely… I wish people would do this for me too. Yeah
still the best ever couple of this webcomic! very cute! nice and sweet
My friend does that for me too. She’s so caring and perfect.
I’m driven to feel like shit that I’m taking all this time and energy out of her, and for what? But she made me promise that I would not turn her kindness into these kinds of things and I try to keep it. Trying to forbid my thoughts from going there for too long and think of something else instead.