You still need to keep yourself safe even if he or she can’t help it that he or she has a hard time swimming.
Lungs neither know or care if the person dragging you down has a doctor’s note excusing him or her from being able to swim. If they’re full of water instead of air they’re not able to deliver enough oxygen to your blood to keep your brain *no matter who or what made them full of water*
This article explains better the point I was trying to make.
“Supporting a significant other through a hard time is always going to be stressful. There’s no getting around that. That doesn’t mean it’s not worth it, but it can be a danger to your own well-being. You can’t help your partner if you’re too overwhelmed to function. It’s romantic to think we’ll “do whatever it takes” to help the people we love, but that mindset can bring your own mental health crashing down around you. When you’re helping your partner, be sure to give yourself some clear boundaries on what you can and cannot offer.”
Yeah, in lifeguarding class they teach you how to rescue an active drowner without letting them drag you down. Unfortunately, most people don’t get such training.
They can forgive themselves and move on with their lives. What about for us who suffer, not because we chose this, but because we’re born into these disorders? Could we ever forgive ourselves and move on too? And from what?
I’ve been reading through a lot of the comics on this site because a dear friend of mine who’s been suffering from depression for so long posted one on her blog. I am thankful for every single one of them, but I think I am the most thankful for this one in particular, because it is something a lot of people who deal with the topic like to overlook. I have had friends with depression before whom I could not be there for because I felt how it was dragging me down as well, and how our relationship has become dangerously toxic over the time. I had to remove myself. That did not mean that they were an inconvenience or I did not care about them, but I often felt myself treated like shit and manipulated (truly manipulated), because SOME (not all, god beware) people do use their mental illness to excuse certain behaviour.
Sorry, but depression is an explanation. It cannot always be an excuse though. And I have the right to take care of myself, too. So that is what I did, and it was best for me. Now this friend I’ve been sticking with, I stayed because I felt I could handle it, even if I didn’t even know what was going on or what I should do. But I never felt deeply miserable because of them, I never felt like I had to protect myself. For this one person I, for some reason, have the strength to keep going with them. I cannot really explain why. Sadly for others I could not be that kind of friend, and I had to learn to accept that it’s okay, too.
It’s important because there really is a Rashomon-like quality to depression. It changes how you see the world, and the best way to illustrate that change is to contrast it through the views of others.
This one I really like since it poses an interesting dilemma. If you leave someone to drown, are you killing them? But if you are drowning and you pull someone down with you, aren’t you the killer?
Oh god.
Great comics, Clay. It really shows both sides of the coin. I’ve been on both sides and those feelings are very hard to get over.
It’s a cold thing to leave someone when theyre in need, just because your pain isnt covnient http://t.co/jSq1QHY6uQ via @depressioncomix
Yeah, how dare she think about her own needs and wants and desires when she could just give all of herself over to his problems.
Out of all the comics on this site, I think these two best portray how absurdly complex living like this can be,
Depression Comix 245 & 246 http://t.co/RMTwxqHuBA vía @depressioncomix
That was… incredibly powerful. Thanks for drawing this for both sides of the coin.
The first thing they teach you about saving a drowning person is don’t let them drag you down too.
I’m not saying they shouldn’t be saved, but you need to keep yourself safe.
hard to swim when your legs don’t function properly (metaphor)
Staying with the metaphor:
You still need to keep yourself safe even if he or she can’t help it that he or she has a hard time swimming.
Lungs neither know or care if the person dragging you down has a doctor’s note excusing him or her from being able to swim. If they’re full of water instead of air they’re not able to deliver enough oxygen to your blood to keep your brain *no matter who or what made them full of water*
This article explains better the point I was trying to make.
“Supporting a significant other through a hard time is always going to be stressful. There’s no getting around that. That doesn’t mean it’s not worth it, but it can be a danger to your own well-being. You can’t help your partner if you’re too overwhelmed to function. It’s romantic to think we’ll “do whatever it takes” to help the people we love, but that mindset can bring your own mental health crashing down around you. When you’re helping your partner, be sure to give yourself some clear boundaries on what you can and cannot offer.”
http://lifehacker.com/how-to-support-a-partner-struggling-with-depression-1717700336
Yeah, in lifeguarding class they teach you how to rescue an active drowner without letting them drag you down. Unfortunately, most people don’t get such training.
This is the main reason why I just refuse to get a significant other.
It would be terrible to inflict such a pain to her.
http://t.co/alS0N2nsHs I get it, I get it……
“I can’t believe she abandoned me.” http://t.co/oKVpztKBGJ
They can forgive themselves and move on with their lives. What about for us who suffer, not because we chose this, but because we’re born into these disorders? Could we ever forgive ourselves and move on too? And from what?
Been there too many times (and too much time) not to cry everytime I see these comics.
I’ve been reading through a lot of the comics on this site because a dear friend of mine who’s been suffering from depression for so long posted one on her blog. I am thankful for every single one of them, but I think I am the most thankful for this one in particular, because it is something a lot of people who deal with the topic like to overlook. I have had friends with depression before whom I could not be there for because I felt how it was dragging me down as well, and how our relationship has become dangerously toxic over the time. I had to remove myself. That did not mean that they were an inconvenience or I did not care about them, but I often felt myself treated like shit and manipulated (truly manipulated), because SOME (not all, god beware) people do use their mental illness to excuse certain behaviour.
Sorry, but depression is an explanation. It cannot always be an excuse though. And I have the right to take care of myself, too. So that is what I did, and it was best for me. Now this friend I’ve been sticking with, I stayed because I felt I could handle it, even if I didn’t even know what was going on or what I should do. But I never felt deeply miserable because of them, I never felt like I had to protect myself. For this one person I, for some reason, have the strength to keep going with them. I cannot really explain why. Sadly for others I could not be that kind of friend, and I had to learn to accept that it’s okay, too.
One of my favorite parts of your comic is how you explain things from all different sides. It truly is enlightening.
It’s important because there really is a Rashomon-like quality to depression. It changes how you see the world, and the best way to illustrate that change is to contrast it through the views of others.
And that is what makes this so horrible. No one can ever know.
This one I really like since it poses an interesting dilemma.
If you leave someone to drown, are you killing them?
But if you are drowning and you pull someone down with you, aren’t you the killer?
Oh god. I’m the guy.