claycomix

comics and illustrations by clay jonathan

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    • Or if you HAVE had a major impact on theirs (and their entire family), why are those which were “business become friends”, backing away at your darkest hour – when you helped create some of their brightest?

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    • Same here. The career services department at my college tells me job fairs are a great way to go because the people have to meet you face to face, but I’ve never had great experience with them. Somehow it’s difficult to convince people of your worth when you have to run off to the corner every five minutes to hyperventilate and chant “It’s all going to be okay” like the last murder victim in a slasher film.

      Reply

    • Yes, or when they say they care about you, and you feel so worthless that you don’t believe they could possibly be telling the truth. You start trying to figure out their ulterior motive for deceiving you. That way lies paranoia.

      An important part of breaking free for me was to write down my thoughts and feelings. It wasn’t until I saw them on paper that I started to see how irrational they were.

      I think if I’d tried to draw comics about it, I would have kept running out of black ink.

      Reply

  14. True as always. It doesn’t get easier when you get what you’re after either. You just go from thinking you don’t deserve to get anything to waiting for your boss or lover or whomever to decide that they made a huge mistake.

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  16. Too real…
    I’m doing OK work wise though I haven’t tried for anything very challenging..

    I think I’d like to date but it doesn’t seem fair to drag someone else into dealing with me…

    My family (parents and sibling) have no choice but to be involved..but it doesn’t seem fair to expect someone else to take care of you when you Kay never have the emotional energy to reciprocate equally…

    Reply

  20. Yup. Spot on. It’s really hard to sell yourself to others when you can’t even sell yourself to you. And that worthlessness opens the door for anyone to take advantage and use you. And not usually in any good way 🙁

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  22. Commentary: I was pretty shocked to wake up and find that this comic had passed 3000 notes on Tumblr in 24 hours — it’s been quite a while since something I did caught like that. And what makes me super happy about that (no offense, Josh) is that the main character is a Person of Color, and yet so many people identify with his struggle. Thank you.

    I also identify with this a lot. One way I feel about it is relevant to what I do here. I’ve been doing webcomics since 1997, and never have I ever been able to promote what I do. Just the idea of advertising, promoting, or selling what I do gives me the shivers, since deep down I feel like everything I do is shit. This feeling derailed my previous comics but somehow I have kept this one going. But whenever anyone asks me to step up and make a book or something, the words in the last panel come to the forefront and it’s impossible for me to think that a book about depression comix or previous work would actually be something worth doing. I suck, these comics suck, there is so much better out there … why would anyone bother with this?!? I had to have my arm twisted to set up a Patreon, getting me to get beyond my self-esteem issues and set up a kickstarter or something feels like it would require a miracle. And this is just for comics, this deep feeling of worthlessness has affected my love life and work and everything. And seeing people pass by me in all these areas just proved to me that I didn’t deserve anything good ever, and I began to resent myself for failing when it was because I couldn’t even convince myself to try.

    You still reading after that blast of negativity? Wow. But this got over 3000 notes so quickly so it’s not just me thankfully. Thank you for telling me it’s Not Just Me.

    Reply

    • It’s Not Just You, or Just Me, or Just Any of Us struggling with this. What we should remember (and believe, which is often the really really hard part) is that it’s the illness talking. 🙁 Sometimes, it would be so much simpler to just have a broken leg or something.
      Thank you for the incredibly insightful stories and your art, for what it’s worth, if you ever do end up making a book, I’d definitely buy it 🙂

      Reply

    • Depressed people are often unable or unwilling to express what they are going through. You’re giving them a voice, and letting them know they’re not alone. Identifying with the characters and situations in your comics helps them see that their illness is something that afflicts many people, that it’s not due to some personal failing on their part, and that recovery is possible. It also helps those who haven’t experienced depression to understand it better.

      I’ve read all 229 of the comics so far, and I’ve learned something from every single one of them. Had Depression Comix had been available 25 years ago, I might have sought treatment sooner, and saved myself thousands of days of Hell.

      Reply

    • I found this comic while I was in a pretty bad place. I can’t remember how now, I’ve managed to forget a lot of that period.

      These days, I’m mostly through the other side of my depression, and some of that is down to your words and doodles. It’s helped me know I’m not alone, it helped me get help when I needed it, and I’ve used it on more than one occasion to explain to non-depressed people what it’s like.

      On top of that, your drawing is ace! Really well observed, and with a fantastic sense of style.

      You might not feel like your work isn’t good enough. It is.

      Thank you for every page.

      Reply

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