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depression comix #224
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comics and illustrations by clay jonathan
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224 http://t.co/ljPc1raZhc via @depressioncomix
So true
I wish I could see it anyone else’s way somedays.
I don’t think I deserve but.. it’s as if I could really go and rest forever because I’m doing no good, I’m adding nothing to anyone’e life and… I’m just tired of the mixing of mine expectations toward myself and the expectations others have towards me, I feel like I’m failing with everyone and they should just keep on living and being great at everything and forget that I even was here. it’s really tiresome…
lerangel, that’s exactly how I feel, too. I’m just tired and wish everyone would just move on. However, I feel fine when there are no other people around, when I’m by myself.
Jeez, you are wonderful at these!
Suicide is so complicated. I had an ex beg me for months to buy him a gun out of state to kill himself, but when I became suicidal/hospitalized he railed against it. As I refused him his weapon. At the time it angered me, but now I recognize the terrifying cycle it was. It is so hard to know how to be with suicidal people.
Story which is closest to mine. Before the Christmas just gone I was already receiving very mild suicidal thoughts – wishing I could take the place of people who died in all these accidents you hear on the news. “How lucky are they!?” I thought. Anyway, didn’t really see these as suicidal, didn’t even think I had depression then.
Visited my Grandad after christmas, every day for a month – as no one else could. He’s terminally ill with brain cancer and has rapidly gone from being a man who can run around and paint houses, garden and DIY with so much energy to a shell who can’t speak much, forgets mostly everything and is bed ridden because of a stroke caused by the tumor.
One of the hardest parts about visiting him would be him asking if I could kill him. The thing is, I knew he was never going to get better so I wanted to do it. I wanted to, but of course it’s illegal and we’d been told he had about a week or 2.
He’s still alive now, I feel inside his head his mind must be so broken right now – when he could talk earlier on he said he felt like a monster was controlling his body and he was left to watch from the inside. All I can think about is being in a situation where you want to commit suicide so badly, but everyone is feeding and medicating you too well for you to die and you can’t tell them to stop. That must be hell.
i love that you can make these and that i can relate to so many but it also makes me sad because in order to make them you probably experienced so much of it yourself.
It makes me sad as well, but at least we’re all survivors thus far.
true even if some people, like myself, are only like that due to police being called and other stuff……
Better that than you not being here by a long shot 🙂
I’m familiar with this.
This. This this this for days and days. Thank you for speaking out.
It’s sometimes not a matter of deserving, but desiring.
So much this. Like someone said above, there’s no added value to the world for my having been in it. I’m taking up space, but not utilizing it. It’s malignant, this attaching to people but never actually doing anything that benefits them or the greater world. It’s worse in that I know “people would be sad” if I died, but no one would be able to actually articulate why or what had been lost because the answer would be “nothing of substance.”
224 http://t.co/vjMEEhJ8VZ via @depressioncomix
If only a person could have a mirror that made them look like another person so they could treat themself with the same love they treats others… *sigh*
An amputee with the illusion of a painfully immobile phantom limb can often restore movement in it by seeing a reflection of the remaining limb in the same apparent location, and moving the real and phantom limbs together. Sometimes the phantom limb sensation disappears entirely. I wonder if an analogous technique, a sort of emotional mirror, could help with depression.
Though I desire death, I do not believe I deserve death or any of the suffering I’ve been given. I don’t believe anybody deserves anything, for that devaluates the randomness of the universe. We are given what we have for no good reason, and what we gain is just the same ammount of nonsense.
Shout out to a most realistic little webcomic.
http://t.co/zvdMepXX4Q via @depressioncomix
TW: Suicide ideation RT “@Coreflames: Shout out to a most realistic little webcomic.
http://t.co/CZHhsqz4kF via @depressioncomix”
So sad and true.
This: http://t.co/kPaWdGcqLl
So true.
knowing this didn’t help me. knowledge doesn’t change feelings that have been stuck for too long.
but due to some friends’ good help, and a great sage’s testament to the youth of his people…
i somehow managed to achieve a deep realization that i am as worthy of the same words and comfort.
that was a turning point in my life.
i see it as an extremely rare to come by epiphany.
though it’s not like it’s permanent. i need to remind myself often.
but it’s reminding myself rather than failing to convince myself.
This one hits close to home. I have to be very careful not to use words that imply death when I’m in a bad state. It’s difficult .