Helps to warn the other person there might be a “wtf do I say now” pause afterwards. If it happens, you can break the tension then with a joke, if it doesn’t – even better 🙂
I admit to a pause when a friend told me she had bipolar disorder, but my response was along the lines of, “Oh. Ok, um, is there anything I need to watch for?” which sparked a very informative discussion…
I don’t even tell anyone I have AS because I don’t want to be treated with kid gloves. Also there might be some people who don’t know that because they’ve never got depressed before and they’re busy living in their “happy world”
This is the worst for me. I’ve had people refuse to let me handle knives because they somehow thought it was too dangerous. I have severe depression without a history of self harm, but people still do this.
Just throwing this out there, but “the pause” isn’t caused by people hating depressed people for no reason, but because we’re afraid of accidentally making light of what you’re going through and offending you. Especially since there are lots of people online who are pretty … defensive about their depression. You know, the type who play the depression card on you when you try to talk logically, making you feel like an insensitive monster? I understand many if not most people with depression aren’t like this, but better safe than sorry, you know …
Pausing is fine. It’s new information. Serious information. Your brain shouldn’t parse it so quickly. What’s important is what you say after the pause.
The “what the f*** do I say now” silence… deafening.
Helps to warn the other person there might be a “wtf do I say now” pause afterwards. If it happens, you can break the tension then with a joke, if it doesn’t – even better 🙂
A pointed commentary of societal perception… *sigh* (Same with Aspergers… who also have a high rate of depression)
Sigh.
I admit to a pause when a friend told me she had bipolar disorder, but my response was along the lines of, “Oh. Ok, um, is there anything I need to watch for?” which sparked a very informative discussion…
That’s a very good response, A.J. It shows you care and want to help if you can. 🙂
What is this recovered, of which you speak?
I don’t even tell anyone I have AS because I don’t want to be treated with kid gloves. Also there might be some people who don’t know that because they’ve never got depressed before and they’re busy living in their “happy world”
This is the worst for me. I’ve had people refuse to let me handle knives because they somehow thought it was too dangerous. I have severe depression without a history of self harm, but people still do this.
I told my friends I have bipolar disorder and they change the subject. Well, there was a pause and then they kept talking about something else.
“The pause” http://t.co/EfbN1eytwz via @depressioncomix
Just throwing this out there, but “the pause” isn’t caused by people hating depressed people for no reason, but because we’re afraid of accidentally making light of what you’re going through and offending you. Especially since there are lots of people online who are pretty … defensive about their depression. You know, the type who play the depression card on you when you try to talk logically, making you feel like an insensitive monster? I understand many if not most people with depression aren’t like this, but better safe than sorry, you know …
Pausing is fine. It’s new information. Serious information. Your brain shouldn’t parse it so quickly. What’s important is what you say after the pause.
I knee-jerk response is “it’s okay”