Patreon Sketches

I have had a Patreon account for some time now, and I use it to help support depression comix. People’s support helps me in many ways. For example, it pays for hosting costs for all my sites, pays for all the materials I use, and recently helps me pay for drawing classes I attend.  Because all the finished work gets posted for free anyways, it’s hard to find ways to use to attract support. One of the things I do is give away a free sketch every month. Each month a winner is picked and they get to choose the character I draw and I send it to them in the mail. Most of these are depcom characters but the latest sketch involved a Sexy Losers character, so I thought it was appropriate to move the gallery to my personal site (there is no mention of or links to Sexy Losers on the depression comix site).

You can find all the sketches done so far here. I’m trying to find a nice gallery plug in to make it look better; the WordPress native gallery does its own styling and looks kind of strange with some pictures randomly bigger than others.

The image that’s associated with this post is one of Tomoe Toyosaka from Sexy Losers, and is the latest sketch to be given away.

There is no Patreon site for Sexy Losers because of it being a NSFW comic, so any support for depcom is greatly appreciated.

depression comix #314

When people don’t understand that just getting out of bed is a major accomplishment when you’re in the depths, talking about exercise and volunteering sounds like goals for other, very different people.

It isn’t to slag exercise or volunteering, but the deeper your depression goes, the more those kinds of goals become out of reach.

After posting this, I did get the usual “but exercise worked for me!” posts that kind of missed the point. There’s a scale to depression that I think exists and not only are people on different places on the scale but their place changes from moment to moment as well. I enjoy running, but I also have times where it takes all my energy to lift my head. So advice like this isn’t particularly helpful when I’m in the darker side of the scale, when managing the essentials of my life is a challenge in itself let alone going for a run.

As for the strip itself, it was nice to return to this kind of comic, it’s the kind of comic that depcom started off as being, and it returns to the two characters that started the strip. One person mentioned in the comics that they’d like to see these two get together, but that will not happen because she just cannot understand depression. She believes that if she says the right thing he’ll snap out of it, which we know isn’t going to happen. He has a strong tendency to shut people out which is not exactly great for relationships. It’s really based on a totally platonic friendship I had in university that dissolved itself.

You can read the strip here:

depression comix #313

The Plan returns.  Some of the stuff he says is based on my own experience. Knowing the plan was there and in place allowed me to get through the day, which scares me to this day, because inside I was self-destructing yet because I was self-destructing I was looking to others like I was fine. It’s incredible how depression can turn you into your own killer, planning everything so that you can get away with it. It still sends chills down my spine when I think I wouldn’t even think of hurting a person while plotting my own demise with cold precision.

The part where The Plan talks about saving up sick days is actually true to life. That was part of my own plan. If I could save up time for two weeks, I could do everything I needed to and carry out all the preparations without being missed from work. By the time the vacation was over, it would be too late. Thankfully this plan got derailed, but yeah, these are the things you think of when the plan starts to pull together.

The Plan is fun to draw. I was thinking of the brooms from Fantasia while doing it, and how incredible Walt Disney was at bringing everything to life and infusing it with personality.

But still, this feeling is really scary, but important for me to try to describe. I think.

Read it here.

Sexy Losers #278 – “A Harry Situation”

I love parodies. In Sexy Losers, I have parodied Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Blade Runner, Spiderman, Silence of the Lambs, Space: 1999, Blair Witch Project, Video Girl Ai, Evangelion, Sailor Moon, Cinderella, Pinocchio … there are many more. The best part of doing parodies is getting to draw some of the characters you love. And so it goes for Harry Potter.

I didn’t always like Harry Potter. I saw the first movie in a movie theatre when it came out, and I wasn’t too impressed. It seemed too long, and I didn’t get the ending. I couldn’t understand why Professor Quirrell was defeated so easily by simply touching Harry … it seemed like an ending where Harry succeeded simply out of dumb luck or what I thought was a cheap deus ex machina. Had I given the second movie a shot I would have had a change of heart, but the first movie was not that great to me. The first half was how incredibly bad Harry’s life was and the second half literally him shitting luck.

The Order of the Phoenix happened to be on TV one night a number of years later, and I was amazed at how dark it turned. I quickly rewatched the series, and then read all the books over train rides in the span of one month. Now I understand the ending to the first movie, and I can enjoy everything about it.

This was a fun strip to draw. It was great being able to draw Harry, Hermione, and Ginny (the back of Ron’s head makes an appearance and base it on the movie actors’. It’s the kind of strip that would have been at home when the strip was more regular and doesn’t seem forced to me, like many of the THIN H LINE Tumblr strips.

I had a bit of a conundrum at the end trying to figure out exactly how much Ginny would let the reader know that outing Harry wasn’t her primary intention, she was actually trying to sleep with Ron. I don’t like spelling out punchlines, so I hope I got it just right.

You can read the comic here – and yes it’s NSFW [female nudity]:

depression comix #312

This comic started as something else. I wrote the first three panels about eight months ago, and it was supposed to be about how important it is to be skeptical about information that you see on the internet. Not just about depression, but everything. Unfortunately I couldn’t think about how to end it, so I left it for another day.

Nowadays, thanks to this year’s election, there has been a lot more information and misinformation that we have to sort through. People believe a lot what is said without checking for accuracy. Now a lot of this is just human nature — we tend to accept without question information that fits in with our world view and we rarely question the source. But a lot of information nowadays seems to be tuned towards making us fear the future and hate each other. This cannot be a good environment for mental health,

But back to depression. One of the things I’ve gotten when I dismiss something is that if I haven’t tried everything, I’m not really suffering. I thought this would make a good final panel because I’m sure others have heard it too. The problem is that there is so many depression “cures” being peddled, one cannot try them all and one shouldn’t. Some of it is clickbait, some of it is to make a buck off of vulnerable people. It’s hard to tell what is fake and what is real, and knowing how to determine an article’s validity is such an important skill nowadays.

I worked briefly for a company that was tied to Google, and one of our jobs was to determine the quality of homepages that came up in a Google search. It had a list of things we should look for such as contact information, reputation, and whether or not the page was copied and pasted content. We had to be thorough, and it was a good experience (but I quit anyways, it was a high pressure part-time job). But maybe these skills are a necessary part of daily life now and need to be taught so we don’t have world-impacting decisions made while appealing to our gullibility.

Read the comic here:

depression comix #311

This is the return of the neurons from way back in depression comix #15. I always meant to bring them back, and now I have that chance. I’d like to do more strips with them if there’s an idea worth bringing them back for. I like drawing the little mitochondria and golgi apparatus inside. Makes me feel like I could get something useful out of my high school biology.

For the neuron panels I went back to using the big brush pens that I used nearly exclusively for the first part of the comic (recently I switched to pen and ink) and it was a bit fun to do. Especially without worrying about spilling ink everywhere.

About the actual comic itself, it really is hard to accept a compliment. I thought this might be a comical way of representing it. Despite the comic being about depression, I try to use humor as much as possible, even when it’s really dark.

Please take a look at the strip here ->